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Nothing Sounded Good

My intention was to come home from work and make dinner, but I didn’t have it in me.

The 5-Year-Old-in-3-Days was begging me for a peanut butter sandwich.

The 10-year-old already ate his weight in snacks after school.

The Husband had to run errands and needed to head out.

There I was, overwhelmed, unmotivated and exhausted looking in the fridge — kind of hungry, kind of wanting to make dinner so we can all sit down together and kind of wanting to say “f*ck it,” throw my hands up, let everyone fend for themselves and go to bed.

I ended up taking the middle ground and pulling out all the leftovers out for dinner.

The 5-Year-Old-in-3-Days got his peanut butter sandwich with a side of pepper strips and avocado chunks. The 10-Year-Old and Husband made their own plates. And I just stared at everything knowing I should eat but nothing looked good. I mean I had good food — leftover pork loin, asparagus and potatoes from last night’s family dinner, leftover Turkey Chili With Sweet Potato, Eggplant and Mushrooms, leftover salisbury steak from Friday — but I wanted none of it.

Nothing sounded good even though I was hungry.

This is when I know something’s up with me.

There are times making the “right” food choices is easy. Good, nutritious food sounds good. It looks good. It’s what I want.

But then there are times when all I want is junk. Something fast that I can just grab. Something processed and easy. Something I normally don’t want to even put in my body.

I haven’t quite figured out the pattern to these moments and why they happen. They ebb and flow for sure. Sometimes I think it’s hormones other times I think it’s not-so-good food choices that bring back cravings. Other times I just blame it (or rather call it) a funk.

I ended up picking on some potatoes, grabbing some tortilla chips and indulging on chocolate Easter candy.

Meh. It is what it is. Tomorrow will be be better.

In other news….

  • This is helping my shin splints immensely! 
  • I felt weak at the gym today but I was still able to do 3 pull-ups!
  • I spent time updating my resume. First time in eight years! That was weird.
  • Guitar practice is going great!
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About Mehmood Esmail

Mehmood Esmail
Hi, I am Mehmood Esmail, there have been severe health issues in my family, like cancer, heart attacks, stroke, kidney stones, IBS, etc. Where we live, in Africa, health facilities are basic. Thus it becomes imperative that we hnow what is happenining to us and how to look after ourselves, and where possible, how to prevent serious illnesses.

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