Last night The Husband and I went out sans kids for dinner to celebrate 21 years — not 21 years married but 21 years together.
We hooked up, err, I mean “started dating” Feb 1, 1995.
Doesn’t that sound like eons ago? I mean, I actually know people who weren’t even alive in 1995 and I don’t mean my kids. I mean, like people, real adult people I interact with regularly.
The two of us have been in each other’s lives more than we haven’t, and that is hard for me to comprehend.
I’ve been fiercely independent for as long as I can remember. I started working at 14, moved myself, alone, to college at 18 and never really dreamed of getting married to live happily ever after. Actually, the opposite was true. I never understood friends who needed boyfriends. Back in the day the only relationship advice I would ever offer someone was simply … dump them.
Being raised by a single mother who ended a 16-year marriage when I was 9, I just never understood why anyone would stick around in a relationship that wasn’t working for them.
When I met Bill I was a young, insecure girl trying to figure out the world. We bonded over beer, music and movies.
Isn’t that all that really matters in college anyway?
He was smart, funny and easy to talk to, even as an idiotic teenager who acted immature around his friends.
We simply clicked, and by graduate school were inseparable, but not in an unhealthy, clingy kind of way young people sometimes are.
Little did I know we were laying down a strong foundation to build a life together.
I remember talking about getting married a few years after we started dating but we weren’t in a rush. Both of us in college with unknown futures. It was just logical to wait. Why introduce another variable during such a crazy time in our lives. We simply didn’t see “getting married” as something that special to attain. It was just, from my perspective anyway, an excuse to throw a big party and announce to family, hey … we’re pretty serious. Just wanted to let you know.
I’m such a romantic, aren’t I?
Actually this is one of the things The Husband makes fun of me for — my lack of interest in Hollywood-style romance. He’s the romantic movie lover. I’d much rather watch a slasher flick.
And that’s just one example of how different we are.
I’m rock ‘n’ roll. He’s hip-hop.
I’m outgoing and social. He’s an introvert to his core.
I’m all about adventure. His idea of the perfect weekend is doing absolutely nothing for two days.
I can only assume this is what people mean when they say opposites attract, but truth be told, we have a heck of a lot of things in common, too. Most importantly is our commitment to our relationship because if both people aren’t all in, it’s just not going to work out long term.
We have our fair share of problems, that’s for sure, but we always work through them.
I’m really proud of us. We’ve built an amazing life together, and even with all the craziness of life we still, after 21 years, not only make time for one another but enjoy each other’s company.